User blog:Skylord Elberich/Stories - Chapter 4: The Bleeding Tree, and the talk with The Slender Man's little sister

Oi, who are... oh, I know who you are. Yeah, big bruv told me about you. I'm supposed to keep you out, but... I'm soooo bored! It's naff around here, and there's no-one to talk to except the odd proxy, but they're so hideously dull! They're all "I must serve my master" and "I shall do as the Tall God asks" and blahblah blahblah blahblah! If I wasn't a fallen angel, I'd fuckin' kill myself out of boredom! So, what do you want, anyhow? Stories? From me?! Oh, I'm flattered, but there's not much to tell, to be honest. Same as big bruv, really; Got made by God, got tricked by Lucifer, fell onto your shithole of a world (no offense.) Although, unlike my murderer brother, I was able to get a job - well, many jobs. After a while, people ask questions, specifically about why you never age, and why you never eat, and why you always carry that rusted letter opener. (Let's just say, I can't QUITE control myself.)

So yeah, that's me. A dead-end cycle of job after job. Well, up 'til now. Big bruv gave me this job of guarding the Path of Black Leaves from... well, from you. It's dead-boring, but it pays well, and I don't have to worry about much. Sorry, I've bored you long enough, is there anything you wanna know about this place? Hmm? Oh, the Bleeding Tree? Oh yeah, I know a bit about that. Yeah, big bruv got that from Hell, apparently. The person he got it from, a woman called Harper, or Harker or something, said it's the soul of a suicide or somethin'. Not entirely conviced, though. Also, I did tests on the blood that come out of the tree, and it's a mixture of blood from everyone who has commited sin, like, ever. Weird, right? Welp, that's all I know 'bout it. If you want more info about it, you'd better ask big bruv about it. Oh - speak of the devil, 'ere he comes! You'd better scarper, methinks, or he'll rip us both to shreds, me metaphorically, you literally! Goodbye, see ya, ta-ra, toodle-pip, sayonara, don't forget to write!