User blog:Skylord Elberich/Vidlia's Lament

The Collector was strolling through Chicago. He often strolled through the cities of Mundi, hoping to spot some strange artifact, or rescue a lost Lucemic who had accidently found themselves in the world of the mundane, but he also did this out of nostalgia. As he strolled, he turned into a dark alleyway without thinking.

There, in the darkness, someone was staring at him with malicious intent.

This someone was a seventeen-year-old runaway from Nebraska called Addie Cook, though she called herself Vidalia, because at the time "It sounded rad." She soon found that it was actually both a kind of onion and a genus of fruit fly. She didn't really care. It stood out, and things that stand out have the capacity to cause fear. And that's usually the path that muggers try to take.

When she saw the Collector, what she saw was a beared old man in a suit, probably meaning he was an easy target, and very rich. Only the latter was true

Vidalia walked up to the Collector, wielding a large wrench. "You know who I am?" She asked menacingly. But the Collector was not menaced. He looked her up and down. "Other than a waste of my time," he said, daringly "I'm afraid I have no answer, so if you'll excuse me--" As he tried to walk past her, Vidalia put her wrench-wielding arm out, blocking his path, while waggling her finger. She then put the head of the spanner to his chest and said "I'm Vidalia, and I'm the gal who's taking your stuff. Now, hand over your valuable crap, and we can both forget about this."

The Collector, who, quite frankly, wasn't having any of it, gripped his umbrella, and used it to knock away Vidalia's wrench, which he held with proper fencing ettiquette. Vidalia shouted "The fuck are you doing?!!" with an absolutely priceless expression of confusion on her face. The Collector responded "Why, I'm fighting back, of course! You didn't think I would just let you take my 'valuable crap', did you?" A red mist descended over Vidalia, and she ran at the Collector, screaming "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!" The Collector dodged her, and merely scoffed "If you can do that, I'll let you have my entire estate!"

Vidalia and the Collector foght for a few minutes, the Collector deftly dodging Vidalia's hits, and Vidalia enduring the Collector's. After a while, Vidalia began to get tired, and was really losing her patience, so she did something rather drastic.

She pulled a gun on the Collector, who instantly surrendered.

"Now, there's no need to do anything rash." The Collector said shakily. Vidalia pointed her pistol at the Collector, and said, wheezing "Shut up *cough* and give me your *cough* shit." The Collector's face took a puzzled expression, and he asked "Are you quite alright?" Vidalia responded "I said SHUT UP" coughing for a bit after. The Collector, his expression now taking on genuine concern, said "I'm sorry, but it's just that you like rather pale--" Vidalia then began "I swear to god, if you don't--" but she was unable to speak, or breathe, even. She collaped onto the street, gasping for air. The Collector immediately rushed to her side. "Vidalia! Are you alright?" Vidalia weakly responded "Can't... breathe..."

Vidalia woke up a few hours later in hospital. By her bedside was the Collector. He saw that Vidalia had returned to conciousness, and said "Take it easy, now. Don't want to undo all the doctor's work." Vidalia carefully sat herserlf up, and noticed the bandage wrapped around her upper torso. "What... what happened?" She asked weakly. "You've just had a rather lengthy operation. You're lucky to be alive."

As it turned out, Vidalia had a slight deformation of her heart, which meant performing strenuous activity for longer than a few minutes was extremely dangerous. Without the operation, she would have died. Thankfully, the Collector, generous as he is, gladly payed for Vidalia's operation.

"But why?" Vidalia asked. "Why did you help me? I tried to mug you, dude!" The Collector chuckled, and said "Well, I certainly wasn't about to leave you on the street, was I? What sort of person would I be if I did that?" This made Vidalia think long and hard. Eventually, she said "Look, mister, I... I wanna make it up to you. If there's anything you need, I'm all for it." The Collector said "Well... I suppose I could do with a new apprentice." Vidalia simply smiled weakly and said "Sure thing, mister..." The Collector said "My name is Salvadore Darkest, but I insist you call me the Collector."