- “And now, kids, I'm going to talk about a very special topic. It's about drunk parents. You see kids, when a kid like Mikey Hagen has a father like Mordecai Winchell Hagen, what you end up with is a drunken, abusive no good piece of shit for a father, a woman so bottled up in her fear and rage that she hasn't slept a goddamn wink and has been smoking a carton a week, and a son who really needs a good kick in the ass.”
- — Mr. Oculus